°o.O Keyboard Tourettes© O.o°

What I’m listening to: Cherish the Day by Sade
Mood: sooo crushin on Hugh Laurie

Title explains it all…its the date I have been most anxious to see…a preview…a teaser…a fluffer!!!**contemplating on cold cold showers**
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…is it May 12 yet?!!

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So I’m watching Maybe Baybe and by the time 15 minutes have passed, the room started getting warm…hot if you will…to the point where I had to finally walk out…grin and smoke a cigarette.
He is so smoking hot that Hugh…

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Aaaaaah…it’s Friday and instead of working my sorry little fanny off, I’ve decided to twiddle my thumbs and write all my frustrations today *contemplates hard*…

My friend and I were just exchanging emails about "dissing" friends and we have very much reached our saturation point with all the bullshit that have been flung to us in the past few months.  Don’t you have one of those?  Friends who overpromise themselves and then dump you like a huge pile of dung?  I’ve realized a lot of times, it is hard to continue normal relationships with single girlfriends.  I think the moment we pumped out kids, started getting a little serious and are now focusing on more pragmatic aspects of our life, we’ve unconsciously turned these people off.  I don’t think we’ve turned into smug married creatures (some people do change)…except for the wedding ring and the kids, I feel I’m pretty much the crazy individual I am back then.  I just don’t act like a belligerent fool in front of my kids.

You see, we already feel some kind of existential angst…we’ve forged our lives and live for our families…friendship is very much important to us still.  When we plan on seing these single friends (I’m referring to those who have not had kids…who have never been married…ok fine I’ll narrow it down some more, my friends from the Philippines), we GO OUT OF OUR WAY to make that a possibility.  As I have mentioned to my co-mommy (and she agrees wholeheartedly), we don’t have the luxury of making personal plans to visit friends all the time…we have to plan WAY in advance…and what pisses us more than anything in this world is someone who promises, then last minute dumps the plan without a courtesy warning or anything…you know we can handle the truth better than finding out we are being lied to. 

But I digress…it is that time of the month and I am in the hate-the-world mode.

"Life’s a bitch now so am I" - Catwoman

What I’m Listening to: Time after Time by Cassandra Wilson
What I feel like eating: a whole batch of butterscotch brownies

I can easily explain the post’s title…its my first day (the ta-tahs are hurting like a motherf*****), I’m out of xanex, I feel like a tumescent cow (or just similar to a skinny cow with a major gas problem), my job is driving me cuckoo for cocoa puffs, and I feel like the weight of the universe in on my shoulders. So it’s a bit of an arcane experience which I can not easily shrug off at this point…

**rubs tummy and groans like a big baby**

Just to be off topic, can anyone cheer me up by telling me the most embarrasing moment you’ve experienced…I have a slew, but I’ll start off with what just immediately popped into my head.
I remember back then I was aboard a crowded ferry. I remember being so claustrophobic, and I also remember the wind was blowing like a mofo and hair was on my face…since I was barely a teenager then, I remember chewing on hair and then something struck me, " Don’t I have short hair?" Needless to say, I was masticating on someone else locks which is both disgusting and embarrasing…

Ok your turn…I need my sides split!

So it’s official…I am among the throngs of women (pubescent females included) who are smitten with Dr. Gregory House. I’ve gone as far as joining discussion groups and being a part of the House/Cameron shippers. Heck, I like the guy so much I’m contemplating on joining the House/Wilson shippers as well (just so everyone knows…Dr. Wilson is his best friend…best man…ok you get it now right?).
I dedicate this blog entry to my new fellow netizen friends Laura and Michelle whom I met via the yahoo groups on House M.D. They’re the funnest human beings I’ve ever encountered. I’ve recently received a custom cd from Laura and the whole set of House episodes from Michelle (even sent me mi paborito, tsokolate).
Thanks guys for letting me in your world of House…where I know I always feel I belong:-)

Ok Curly Dugan, I know now when I do come to PA to check out the Hershey’s Factory not to eat the lamps…thanks for the forwarning, the very scent of chocolate wouldve made me hallucinate and think everything there (including personnel) are made of chocolate.

Is it just me of am I just going through my pre-midlife crisis a little early? I have been lately hooked to all these much older men whom I think in my ludicrous opinion are sizzlin’ HOT (hand me a bib; I’m drooling like a mofo). 

I wouldn’t go fro Clancy Brown (sorry CB; I’ve been scared shitless of you since "Pet Semetary 2") or anythin’ ; and wooing over Hugh Laurie?!!  He’s only a year younger than mi querido, Viggo Mortensen..wat the dilly yo?!! 

It must’ve been those deep sea blue eyes that reeled me in like a moth to a flame…ay caramba!!!

In my futile attempt to seek comfort for my psychological distress, I’ve decided there is no better way to let it all out (without an actual person standing there and trying to understand where I’m coming from) than write the pickle of a situation I’m in…in other words, hear me whine…

I wish I were rich…don’t we all wish we had “more”…if there’s anything I feel would help make my life easier, it’s that we have the “dinero” to pay for all the stupid bills we’d inherited for 6 years. Sure money doesn’t buy happiness but it frickin’ well provides peace of mind and comfort.
When I watch, Extreme Makeover (Home Edition), I think to myself, “at least those folks have a home to renovate”. I have nothing to my name but a myriad of debt…now I can honestly say, “I am so poor, I can’t even pay attention…” (groan)

Sure my children are angels sent from heaven…I just feel like a big turd when I can’t give them anything. I love them so much, I’d sell my all my vital organs if it means it would give them a bright future. Some parents want their children to experience the hardship they went through…I don’t ever want that for them. They never asked to be born…it’s unfair for them to not get what they deserve…

So there…I’ve spilled all that I have bottled inside. Now pass me a glass of water and a few capsules of xanex please.

My mind has been running on empty as of late. it’s been .a bitter pill I had to swallow; ergo the lack of (intelligent) posts from me.  I will further prove that I my wounded brain in need of a healing salve,  I will post a bit from George Carlin’s book: "When Will Jesus Bring The Pork Chops?":

From Page 85:

Enjoy A Pleasant Diurnal Experience

     I’m not sure if you’ve noticed it, but I’m always trying to improve society.  And in my relentless pursuit, I fell the time may finally have arrived for me to address "Have a nice day."  I think we can agree it has gotten completely out of hand. 

     Just to give you some background on my long-standing interest in this subject, when I was a young man we didn’t have "Have a nice day".  It isn’t that we didn’t have nice days, of course - offhand I can remember several, most of them in 1949 - but somehow. we had them without any prompting.  NO coaching was necessary.  The nice days just sort of happened.  Perhaps at that time the days were simply nicer, and we took them for granted.  It could be that today’s days leave much to be desired and actually  need a little help.  But if that’s true, I’m not convinced that "Have a nice day" is the best solution. 

     And so, in my ongoing effort to elevate human experience, I think I have come up with an improved version of "Have a nice day". It’s an alternative system of well-wishing, and frankly, something I hope will become the next big trend.

     But before I tell you about it, it’s important to remind you that there is a limiting factor at work here: Most people have very little control over what sort of day they’re going to have.  For instance, when one person says, "Have a nice day." the other may well be thinking, "I’ve just been diagnosed hypertrophic cardiomyopahty, and I’m also coughing up thick black stuff.".  In this case the well wisher’s words will fall on deaf ears.

     And so, I fell that perhaps, in the interest of realism, instead of being directed arbitrarily t have a nice day, people should simply be encouraged to do the best they can.

     It is also probably unrealistic to expect someone to have a nice day all day long.  How often does that happen?  The day is simply too long and comprises too many parts.  One’s day may start off well enough, but quite often the niceness is difficult to sustain over an extended period of time.

     And so, instead of the now standard, and far too general, "Have a nice day", I have devised a new, more specific system of selective, short-term well wishing that puts much less pressure on the recipient.  In my system, the time of day a person offers good wishes determines what should be said.

     As an example, under my method, if I run into an acquaintance at 9 AM, I’m likely to say, "Have a satisfying midmorning".  I believe in getting someone off to a good start, and it’s a modest enough goal to suggest at such an early hour.  Had the encounter taken place a bit earlier, I may have been inclined to offer a simple yet cheerful, "Here’s wishing you a refreshing post-sleep phase.".

     And in turning the clock back even further, if the two of us had been out late and parted at three in the morning, I’m sure I would have told him to "Have yourself a stimulating pre-dawn".  As you can see, I’m fully prepared for any time of day.

     Twelve noon, you ask?  "May your midday be crammed with unfettered joy and myriad delights".  Two in the afternoon? " I hope you experience a rewarding post-lunch".

     Likewise as the day draws to a close, Can you guess what I tell a person at five-thirty in the afternoon?  "Enjoy your sundown".  It’s short, it’s pleasant, it doesn’t demand a lot.  Here’s one for the same time of day which I reserve for more serious-minded friends :  "Have a profound dusk"  I like it.  I fell it shows a certain respect for the other fellow’s depth of soul.  Or-and this is a particular favorite of mine-"Have a challenging twilight".  I enjoy giving the other person something to struggle with just as happy hour is getting under way.

     By the way, I have a playful side as well.  If my friend is a Scottish person I may say, "Have a bonnie gloaming,"  But not too often, I don’t like to show off my command of foreign languages.

     Well folks, I hope you’ve enjoyed this little explanation of my new system., but more important, I hope you’ll put in to work in your daily lives.  And so now, dear reader,  as we prepare to take our leave, you may be tempted to think I’ll be hard-pressed to offer a parting wish that hasn’t already been suggested.  Don’t underestimate me.

     You see, I’m not limited to the short form.  Occasionally, in an expansive mood, I get carried away and my rhetoric becomes ornate.  And so, as we part, let me state that I hope that you have a memorable tomorrow, including, but not limited to, the promising, golden hours of morning, the full, rich bloom of afternoon, and, of course, the quiet, gentle hours of evening, when time pausing for an instant and breathing a small sigh, rushes forward to greet the newly forming day.

    I hope your appreciate the extra effort.