Creepy animation…creepy little girl…almost reminds me of…ME…
Click on the image to view the animation.
Just leeching for now. Soon as I copy the file, I’ll upload it in putfile.com or filecabi.net (where’s a PC when you need one…)
Quote of the blog: “It’s been so long since I’ve had sex my hymen has probably reformed”
Mistress of Crass is back…I’m just glad I’m able to live up to the nickname, Chester the Molester (gee thanks Pip for the sweet moniker…NOT!). Here’s just a barrage of email exchanges between Pip, Curly, Princess K and moi. We’re the next best thing since sliced bread…or ribbed condoms…
Laura wrote:
*ahem*
Hoooooooooooooooootie Dooooooooooooooooooooooooc
droooooooooooooooooooooooool
*this moment has been brought to you by Laura’s raging libido.
back to
your regularly scheduled frolicking.*
BarbeauK wrote:
Ask him if it’s time for the yearly office pelvic
exams. Ha! God I
sounded like Chester.
“Veronica B.” wrote:
Yes, ’cause nothing says romance like a speculum.
Pip
Gretchen Leonardia wrote:
Hottie Doc: My God! You have a cavernously large
vagina!
My God! You have a cavernously
large vagina!
Kettle: Doctor, you didn’t have to say it twice!
Hottie Doc: I didn’t say it twice. I didn’t say it
twice..
**rim shot**
I need for Tom the hottie yoga instructor to help me with my spread eagle pose right now…rowr…
“Veronica B.” wrote:
Oh. My. God. Can’t. Stop. Laughing.
That is the funniest fucking thing I’ve heard all
week. Aside from “We’re so in sync we’re actually
wearing each other’s underwear.”
Pip
MDavid Cronenberg in A History of Violence
The Lord of the Rings trilogy catapulted him to fame, but Viggo Mortensen has definitely earned his stripes in Hollywood. His career spans over twenty years, including a brief role in Peter Weir’s Witness. Viggo has made some good choices after LOTR’s success and avoided the lure of commercialism. "A History of Violence" is a classic David Cronenberg film, dark and introspective, with some of the seamier sex scenes of 2005. Viggo seemed really taken by Cronenberg’s approach and raved about him throughout the interview.This is a different kind of role for you. What attracted you to it?
Viggo Mortensen: There are a lot of okay scripts around, but there’s always going to be good material. Something like this needs to be handled with a light touch if you want to get all the layers. You need someone like David Cronenberg and that’s the thing that drew me first. If he’s doing this, it’s going to probably be interesting. I really felt like this was a collaborative effort, an exploration that we all undertook. There was a lot of room to sort of play with things. There was a lot of room to experiment and try things and go a little too far sometimes and so forth. He’s a terribly efficient director. I guess he always does this, but on this movie, it finished right on time and I think a little under budget. He’s really, really organized, and it’s nice to know you have that.
So David really sold you on this character and the film?
Viggo Mortensen: Any questions I had, he answered them and then some. I wouldn’t have wanted to be in this movie directed by someone else. Because there would’ve been a good chance that it would’ve just been some kind of revenge story, or vigilante type story. And that would’ve been kind of dull, and not very ground and thought provoking. This is thought provoking on so many levels because he’s just a lot more intelligent and has a much clearer vision than most directors.
How’s your elbow? It was rumored that you got pretty banged up in the second sex scene.
Viggo Mortensen: No more than Maria [Bello] did. My elbow’s okay.
The sex scenes are quite risqué. Were you worried about being over exposed? Or did you put your trust completely in David?
Viggo Mortensen: We had David protecting us both. You felt that you were in good hands. When we were doing that scene in particular, he didn’t call cut. He rolled for a long time, which is how it evolved. It was uncomfortable, but I think both Maria and I recognize that that was right. It was kind of a microcosm of their relationship in a way, that power struggle. David has always has dealt with that. You know, the role playing, the struggle for having your own identity and how you fit in a relationship. The idea that we all have secrets, some secrets bigger than others, is a normal human thing.
There are some pretty gory scenes…
Viggo Mortensen: I think that’s what he did it. He made it so that people can see what that is like. Not pleasant, but it’s shown very briefly. There’s not much of it, but it’s memorable, because it’s very matter of fact, and he gives it strength.
Was there any scene in particular left out that you wanted to remain?
Viggo Mortensen: There are a few things, very little though, because he was so organized. His script is so tight by the time we shoot. There’s not going to be a lot that’s left out. But there are a few things that I think he’ll include on the DVD
Maria spoke about another sex scene in the water that was cut. Was it more explicit than the other ones?
Viggo Mortensen: No, it was a lot colder. (laughs) It was at night in Canada. It was cold. It was just near a gorge. We got to jump off this cliff into the water. That was fun. That’ll be fun to see that scene. I can see why he didn’t use it. It just wasn’t vital. It was a sweet scene though.
How has "Lord of the Rings" affected your career? Do you think you would be considered for a part like this without having done those films?
Viggo Mortensen: No, I wouldn’t have gotten this role if it wasn’t for having been in that popular project. So that’s just a practical thing. And it was nice to work on this movie, and the one I did after. I did a movie after David’s movie called "Alatriste" in Spain. If it wasn’t for "Lord of the Rings", I don’t get a lot of thought, to be honest with you.
You’re quite an accomplished painter. What’s the difference between acting and painting?
Viggo Mortensen: They’re all connected. To me, it’s all about the storytelling. They’re just different ways of doing the same thing. It starts with observation and then taking what you have and adding that. So I don’t see it that different.
Was your character in the "The Perfect Murder" always a painter? Or did you ask for that?
Viggo Mortensen: It was in the script. He was pretending. That was his cover for just trying to get money off people. But, obviously, he needed to be convincing enough so that her character and her husband’s character actually thought this was an original artist. So I just asked who was going to do it. Usually on those movies, especially studio movies, they’ll go rent a bunch of pictures or get someone to paint a bunch of fake ones. I said can I try it? And they let me do it. It was a little bit unusual, but it was fun.
What are those medals you’re wearing?
Viggo Mortensen: For luck, this is San Lorenzo. This is Saint Christopher.
We’ve heard you’re thinking of becoming a hermit?
Viggo Mortensen: Well, I don’t know. Actually, I don’t know if I could be any more of a hermit. I don’t get out a hell of a lot. Maybe not doing movies, I don’t know what I was talking about.
Do you really think of quitting the movie biz?
Viggo Mortensen: Oh yeah, all the time, for years. Sometimes it can be very frustrating. It’s very unusual; at least it has been for me, to have an experience like I had on "History of Violence". Where the director doesn’t just say he’s a collaborator, but he actually is. And where you have as much fun as we did. This is a twisted and very dark story. There were days where it was, those sex scenes or the violent scenes, you know, uncomfortable. But mostly we’re laughing all the time, because that’s how he is. I think it’s probably the reason he makes movies, instead of staying in whatever ward they keep him in between shoots. (laughs)
Damn, nearly 50 years old and still can make my glasses fog up with the sex that reeks from him. ROWR!
Why is it I’m attracted to celebrities who are also troglodytes…I guess it doesn’t matter that he eats road kill or prefers that his chipped tooth be "super-glued" instead of being attended to by a proper Orthodontist. He is perilously perfect to me (he and HL that is); an artist through and through and a beautiful human being at that.
What I like about Viggo? His blue green eyes, his versatility as an artist (poet, photographer, painter, musician…) that fact he can speak fluent Dutch and Spanish…SQUEEEE.
Here’s a diagram on the many ways to play rock, paper, scissors. In my day, back in the Philippines, we invented the toothpick; which for some reason always beat out rock. **shrugs** Go figure.
click to enlarge
ROCK POUNDS OUT FIRE, CRUSHES SCISSORS, SNAKE, HUMAN, WOLF, SPONGE, BLOCKS (GROWTH OF) TREE.
FIRE MELTS SCISSORS, BURNS PAPER, SNAKE, HUMAN, TREE, WOLF & SPONGE.
SCISSORS SWISH THROUGH AIR, CARVE TREE, CUT PAPER, SNAKE, HUMAN, WOLF & SPONGE.
SNAKE BITES HUMAN & WOLF, SWALLOWS SPONGE, NESTS IN TREE & PAPER, BREATHES AIR, DRINKS WATER.
HUMAN PLANTS TREE, TAMES WOLF, CLEANS WITH SPONGE, WRITES PAPER, BREATHES AIR, DRINKS WATER, SLAYS DRAGON.
TREE SHELTERS WOLF & DRAGON, OUTLIVES SPONGE, BECOMES PAPER, PRODUCES AIR, DRINKS WATER, IMPRISONS DEVIL.
WOLF CHEWS UP SPONGE, & PAPER, BREATHES AIR, DRINKS WATER, OUTRUNS DRAGON & LIGHTNING, BITES DEVIL’s HEINY.
SPONGE SOAKS PAPER, USES AIR POCKETS, ABSORBS WATER, CLEANSES DEVIL & DRAGON, CLEANS GUN, CONDUCTS LIGHTNING.
PAPER FANS AIR, COVERS ROCK, FLOATS ON WATER, REBUKES DEVIL & DRAGON, OUTLAWS GUN, DEFINES LIGHTNING.
AIR BLOWS OUT FIRE, ERODES ROCK, EVAPORATES WATER, CHOKES DEVIL, TARNISHES GUN, FREEZES DRAGON, CREATES LIGHTNING.
WATER DROWNS DEVIL & DRAGON, ERODES ROCK, PUTS OUT FIRE, RUSTS SCISSORS & GUN, CONDUCTS LIGHTNING.
DRAGON COMMANDS DEVIL, BREATHES LIGHTNING & FIRE, RESTS ON ROCK, IMMUNE TO SCISSORS & GUN, SPAWNS SNAKE.
DEVIL HURLS ROCK, BREATHS FIRE, IMMUNE TO SCISSORS & GUN, CASTS LIGHTNING, EATS SNAKES, POSSESSES HUMAN.
LIGHTNING MELTS GUN & SCISSORS, SPLITS ROCK & TREE, STARTS FIRE, STRIKES SNAKE & HUMAN.
GUN TARGETS ROCK & TREE, FIRES, OUTCLASSES SCISSORS, SHOOTS SNAKE, HUMAN & WOLF.
Each gesture beats out seven others, and is beaten by the remaining seven.
Woot! Woot! I’m ready, promotion, I’m ready, promotion…(think Spongebob). It is time for all the Cambooty haters to crawl into their pods and fester! Take that bitches!!! Oh and House…snog her…snog Cameron already for fuck sake before my head explodes!
Just downloaded a clip of HL’s appearance on Leno…as much as I was feeling uncomfortable for Hugh (Jay can sometimes be a porcine host), I guess it’s much better talking to Jay than dealing with Regis and Kelly who to date are the biggest idiots I’ve ever seen in talk show history. Hugh just has to sit there and bear it. I feel for the man…really I do…
God Laura you kill me! You hear me?!! I am extremely sore from my yoga class and what do you do? You utter the silliest things and get me laughing my arse off. Damn you Dugan!
Quotable Quotes from Laura/Kettle/Curly Dugan:
if someone
shoots someone and they “die” on the table.. their
heart stops, but the docs
revive the person, is that considered murder?
also
if a tree falls in the woods and kills a squirrel,
do the other squirrels
hold a squirrel funeral where they make plans for
revenge by sticking it to
the man?
I’ve been so out of touch with my fellow Houseketeers/Housians (my comrades in psychotic arms)
Katie sent this “fill-this-out” chain email thingiemabobber (with fellow Stooges, Curly and Pip Moe). I still have to pick a bone with those fools for dubbing me, Chester the Molester….fuckers!
1. What is your occupation? Shipping/Inventory/Purchasing Manager. Also known as the Girl who can’t ship, count and buy jack shiiiiiiit.
2. What are you listening to right now? the sound of my own tummy growling…stomach acid: it’s what’s for dinner.
4. What was the last thing you ate? 2 spoonsfull of cooked rice (did I mention as part of my occupation I’m the kids’ garbage disposal?)
5. Do you wish on stars? fuck yeah; I go to town when there’s a meteor shower.
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? grey…not the brightest crayon in the box, is it? **ponders** wait a second…
7. How is the weather right now? 70’s inside…80’s outdoors
8. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My seester from NY.
9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Katie I hear is a black belt and a certified lunatic so I have no choice but to adore her and worship the ground she walks on.
10. How old are you today? Tell me the last 4 digits of my social security number and I’ll tell you how old I want to think I am
11. Favorite drink? sprite-no pepsi products please
12. Favorite sport to watch? boxing…it used to be basketball but it stressed me out so the logical sport for me to watch is something more violent like, oh I don’t know…UFC, K1 or Boxing (go Pacquiao! go Bautista and go whats-his-face from Hawaii who’s also Pinoy)
13. Have you ever dyed your hair? which reminds me, my gray hairs are SHOWING…
14. Do you wear contacts or glasses? both; but I’m still getting the hang of using contacts. Sometimes I tear my corneas apart from trying to remove them.
15. Pets? are my kids and husband considered pets?
16. Favorite month? December
17. Favorite food? anythin’ really…whatever my PMS dictates, that’s what I’m liking for the month
18. What was the last movie you watched? tsk..tsk…it’s sad really (NOT)…The Exorcism of Emily Rose…not that good…have no clue what ace actors like Tom Wilkinson, Campbell Scott and Laura Linney are doing saying yes to a script like that?!
19. Favorite day of the year? the day I get a big fat check…please let that be a day to happen SOOOOON.
20. What do you do to vent anger? I think of making voodoo dolls of people I want to physically hurt
21. Fall or spring? Fall
22. Hugs or kisses? Kisses…i just like the plain ones…oh, kisses! I thought you were talking about chocolates you freak!
23. Cherry or Blueberry? Neither. Why hasn’t anyone ever asked about santols or bayabas?
24. Do you want your friends to email you back? it would be nice and all but House MD Yahoo groups kick my inbox’ ass with so much emails; I end up deleting everything.
25. Who is most likely to respond? fuck if I know
26. Who is least likely to respond? fuck if I know
27. Who do you live with? my pets…all three of them. Ages, 1, 6 and 35.
28. When was the last time you cried? when was the last time I haven’t cried would be an easier question
29. What is on the floor of your closet? haven’t seen the carpet in a long ass time from all the crap that’s on the floor. Some wife and mom huh?
30.What friend have you had the longest? my 3rd personality Judy has always been there to encourage me to pick fights with strangers
31. What did you do last night? updating friendster damn it
32. Favorite smell? baby lotion…the lavender scented one
33. What inspires you? mostly sad depressing shit…it fuels the angst and lets the creative juices flowing
34. What are you afraid of? heights and people who talk to themselves…that’s why I’m scared of myself.
35. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Cheesey spicy burgers
36. Favorite car? a cobra…vrooom vrooom
37. Favorite dog breed? a beagle…if I get one I’ll call him Gus aka Agustin and I will hug him and squeeze him and love him forever!!!
38. Number of keys on your key ring? let’s see….1 for the house, 1 for the mailbox, 1 for the pool/gym, one for the car, one for hubby’s car, and a jumpdrive….
39. How many years at your current job? not even 2 months
40. Favorite day of the week? Hughsday…House is on Tuesdays you moron!
41. How many states have you lived in? just californee-ay-aa
42. How many cities have you lived in/name them? Gardena, Tustin, Chino Hills, Anaheim, Irvine, Irvine, Irvine, Irvine, Irvine…
It took me my 91st post to finally make my blog theme official (unless David Shore has a death wish and breaks up my OTP), it’s all conjecture really but mostly rants on my obsession with the House & Cameron pairing. I read fanfiction up the wazoo and when coupled with yoga, makes me a really really happy person **insert timorous smile “here”**
Cameron and House are an odd couple. He’s an insufferable, abravise old misanthropic genius; and she’s a gorgeous and an ingenue fawn who harbors a high school crush. It’s the fantasy of the decade.
I have a penchant for sexy older men…with certain exceptions like youthful Artem (who could easily play Hugh in his twenties when a need for a biopic is due), I think Hugh reeks of SEX. What makes him even more appealing other than his amazing “eye fuck” ability, is his intimidating intellect. British accent is a plus…humble disposition is a bonus.
Sometimes, some women just find older mature men sexier. And unfortunately some men find pubescent big breasted dolts a prized trophy. House is never a mysoginist but his meaningful relationships are with bottles of vicodin and scotch. Only Cameron seems to see another side of him…and is truly smitten. There are times House can barely conceal his lust for her much to his chagrin; when this happens I find myself yelling to him through the tv to jump her bones. Those gleaming orbs with the post coital expression are enough to drive me cuckoo for cocoa puffs…and truly bursting with fruit flavor.
Flogging this pair is what I live for.
Dr. Robert Chase; you naughty floppy haired Australian sprite you. Kissing a girl more than half your age. YUCK! **starts to ponder**
I guess if I look at it, the pervy age difference is a little like HL and me…scratch that; it’s like Don Quixote and me. YUCK!
It’s amazing that Fox continues to push the envelope…wait, shove the envelope. Luckily they used pretty boy Jesse Spencer. Hope Jennifer Morrisson didn’t witness said kiss; it would be a pity to see her angelic face spew vomit all over the place.
The whole time I’m watching this episode, I felt my nasal passages contrict. Damn you Hugh and your convincing impersonation of a person afflicted with hay allergy. However I let this go because I get a perverse pleasure from your ocular aphrodisiac. Thou shall not eschew thy gorgeous azure eyes.
**continues to watch Dr. Chase battle his inner voice whether he should grant the 9-year old’s wish for a kiss**
**puts tivo on pause**
I can’t watch it!!! It’s too unnerving! It’s like imagining what it’s like being Catherine Zeta Jones macking with Michael Douglas. YUCK!!!
Squeeeeee!!!
Ryan just added me as a friend in “myspace” (yes, I am the biggest friendster traitor **pfshaw**). Somebody get this guy an agent! He’s going places this boy!
