°o.O Keyboard Tourettes© O.o°

Current mood: Cranky

I lurk around the “Friendster Custom Profile Mods” discussion groups once in a while…mostly to obtain css help, and sometimes, someone with half a brain of a chinchilla posts a subject so abject, you just gotta read into it. I stumbled upon this ridiculous thread .

OH. MY. GOD.

Some poor soul got told by a pubescent mega-bitch that she was not at all hot nor pretty. I’d waltz right in there if I had Angelina Jolie’s looks and cantaloupe bossums but sad to say, the poor lady asked for it. The topic was, “Hot or Not” for fuck sake!

I believe the author of this thread dubbed himself eric astig or some lame moniker like that. Sure enough, my insatiable curiousity got the best of me and I ended up looking him up.

One word…UGH!!!

I don’t believe in judging a book by it’s cover, but if you’ve got the balls the size of alaska to name yourself “ericute”, I’d just have to say…get a lobotomy or shock theraphy and get a face transplant.

I know people like him; they manage to catch themselves a nice piece of ass and they think they’re Casafuckinova. Ladies, be selective of your alpha males. There are trillion fish in the sea who are smart, ernest, delightfully brilliant characters. Don’t settle for people whose idea of a wholesome conversation is how they can enlarge their peanut sized penises to fit a test tube.

Current Mood: SICK!!!

Dun du dun dun! Dun du dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun! **cue in theme from Dragnet**
Here it is! The epppie we House/Cam shippers have dubbed,” the episode of doom “.

Patient of the week is an HIV positive homosexual begging for House’ consult. At first, House just dismisses him because other than the KS lesions on the patient’s face, House doesn’t think he needs to “figure” out what’s wrong with this guy. After a good cane-tug-o-war, the patient collapses and goes into anaphylactic shock. Great going Greg! First he gives an asphyxiaphiliac a stroke, now this. And yet, he’s the one of the best diagnosticians (and probably the surliest) in the country. Go fucking figure!

This is also the episode where House gloats to Wilson how he successfully stole and photocopied all of Stacy’s theraphy notes. All for the vain attempt of finding out if she still harbors wanton feelings for him. He tries to be all noble and helpful in the kitchen causing Stacy’s botoxed brow to furrow. This is all to impress and make her wish she hadn’t dumped him…I didn’t know House could act like such a pussy sometimes.

We switch back to the hospital with HIV-positive guy, coughing blood and accidently spraying all over Cambooty’s face (getting it all in her eye or some shit like that). What would be more worrisome is if she had opened her mouth wide for her to swallow the infected blood he spewed. Nevertheless, this causes panic and much woe between the ducklings. House on the other hand, does not show an iota of pity for Cameron at all. Chase pretends to care, and Cameron pretends not to. You know she’s having a hard time…since she starts not wearing make-up at work and all ::cough::

We also find out, that our patient of the week is also a meth smoking, ecstacy popping fiend..AND as part of his apology to Cambooty, he shares with her his secret to unadulterated bliss…apart from the drugs and casual sex, he tells her how he’s never been so fulfilled and happy in his life. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t see dying and treating ones body like a toxic waste dump a way to “carpe diem”. She was gullible enough (and for God’s sake writers; stop writing her character as an idiot because she wouldn’t be working for the best diagnostician in the East Coast if she was a dithering buffoon!) to swallow some of his bullshit, steals from his stash and has wild inhibited sex with Dr. Chase. I guess she didn’t want to wait for House to come to his senses, which by the way may not happen in her lifetime…that is of course if Stacy continues to linger. I clutched my stomach and ran to the bathroom to blow chunks.

We see Cambooty calming down from the meth in the rest of the episode; barely looking at House who figures out just by staring at her, how she spent her night and with whom… and to my chagrin, doesn’t seem to give a fuck. Chase and Cam vow never to do anything like that again, but confesses to each other that the one-night drug induced romp didn’t “suck”.

House continues his attempt to break Stacy and her husband up by being the one helpful person in her home. You know washing the dishes…catching the house rat…yes, I said it! There is a rat in the house and instead of capturing it, Greg heals it. Stacy being the smart lawyer ::cough:: that she is figures out in the end that Greg had read into her notes and decides to regard him with extreme hate…rightfully so because the asshole deserved it.

After a heated argument between the patient’s father (and a nice punch to the nose) House finally figures out that both the parent and patient share a common symptom caused by a parasite they had contracted from their last fox hunting trip together. I gathered this was before the HIV and the ecstacy. So the bugger was surgically removed and yet House comes out the biggest loser of all. At least, Chase got some…

Episode Quote:

House: Now let go of my cane before it becomes your new boyfriend.
Kalvin: Honey, I will marry it if you take my case.
House: Congress says you can’t.

As I should be because I don’t ever want to stray in the past ever again when it comes to ex’s and I hope and pray my ex’s think the same. I’m sure I was no prize either…

You Are An Invisible Ex

You’re so over your ex, you hardly even remember you have an ex You prefer leave all of the baggage behind you - far, far behind As they say, indifference is the opposite of love!

If I really think about it, I got ridiculously drunk the first time at 19. I do distinctly recall wanting to live in Neverland and stay 19 forever.

You Are 19 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what’s to come… love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You’ve had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You’ve been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

Some of us indifferent souls take perverse pleasure when celebrities (especially those who obviously appear to have a vacuum inside their skull) are presented by the god awful media as major dolts. Just looooooove it…so without further ado, let me present to you a post by SUN UK and the many ridiculous comments celebrities utter. Fuckin’ idiots! ROTFLMAO!!!

“I love being in America.”
Charlotte Church on stage in Toronto

“Twenty-three is old. It’s almost twenty-five, which is, like, almost mid-twenties.”
Jessica Simpson

“I was thinking about dying the other day…the death thought came while I was sitting on the toilet peeing - that’s where I have my most contemplative thoughts.”
Madonna

“Moving from Wales to Italy is like moving to a different country.”
Ian Rush

Pop quiz … Christina made question boob

“I love kids. I was a kid once, myself.”
Tom Cruise

“I thought chickens ate cheese.”
Jade from BB3

“I hate dead people.”
Paris Hilton

“Good-looking people turn me off. Myself included.”
Patrick Swayze

“So, where’s the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?”
Christina AguileraWonder-fool … Liam’s rant for aliens

“If I saw an alien, I’d tell it to f*** right off because whatever planet he came from they wouldn’t have The Beatles of any decent f***ing music.”
Liam Gallagher

“I invented the Internet.”
Al Gore

“I owe a lot to my parents - especially my mother and father.”
Golfer Greg Norman

“I think the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it’s true lightness.”
Alicia Silverstone

“We’re definitely going to get Brooklyn christened, but we don’t know into which religion.”
David Beckham

Oh. My. God.
Please say it isn’t so! Please don’t let those two intertwined bodies be who I think they are. Damn you plot bunnies who feed such rubbish to the writers. Now excuse me while I stick my head inside a microwave…

Current Mood:

For the first time in the history in any of my House eppie reviews, I give this episode a big “bleh”. We see Dr. House stoop so low, he’s barely recognizable as a human being. He goes so far as to sabotage Mark’s therapy sessions, confronting Stacy and asking her flat out if she still harbors feelings for him…and finally stealing Stacy’s theraphy notes. All this, just because the man can not let her go. I know he’s suppose to be a jerk, but this whole stalker milieu is not for me.

New patient of the week is a world famous cyclist, in manner of Lance Armstrong except he’s been doping himself with red blood cells and living practically inside a hypobaric chamber. House applies his “everybody lies” mantra, and rejects any denial from the patient of erythropoietin use. House and his ducklings didn’t have a choice really…all symptoms shove them in that direction. After several “oopsie daisies”, our curmudgeon diagnostian discovers that the patient HAS been truthful after all and instead suffers from a tumor on his thymus gland…ironically blood doping, diuretics and what not have indeed given our “cheating” athlete a free pass. Everything that he was doing prior to falling ill had practically helped him survive thus justifying the drug use. Cameron can not dismount her high horse of morality in the beginning but concedes in the end; mostly swayed by Wilson’s growing closeness. The secret shipper in me doesn’t mind that we see these two getting closer than ever before. I still think Cameron still holds a torch for our unlikely hero, however the embers of her loyalty and love will slowly die if House continues to go psycho for his ex-love Stacy.

Episode Quotes:
Dr. Wilson: You really really need to get some.
House: I get some “some” all the time. I always need to borrow “some” money.

Dr. Cameron: It could be ALS.
Dr. Foreman: He’s too young for that.
Dr. Cameron: Some type of muscular dystrophy?
Dr. Foreman: He’s too old for that.
House: So what would be just right, Goldilocks?

Current Mood: PMSing…big time!!!

It’s damn shame Ellen spent a good portion of her program with Jen Anniston. I get it, she’s been dumped for a way more beautiful woman than she’ll ever be and that her current true love is of late been looking addled…heard he’s having trouble breathing…you know, coz he’s got wooly nose hairs.

Hugh appears after Jen…rock on Charlie, indeed!

Current Mood:

I have a plethora of things I want. Just because it’s all about ME!
But believe you me, the list gets ridiculous but if you are that kind individual who’ll grant me even just a couple of them, in exchange I’ll keep praying for the eternal repose of your soul…in the event of course that you pass away. I think it’s fair trade, don’t you think?

1. An iMac G5 (20″ monitor would suffice)
2. An off the shelf retail copy of Adobe Creative Suite Premium, for MAC. I’ll have none of that illegal ESD copy, thank you.
3. 2 plasma tvs…one for the masters bedroom and one for Mattie’s. Maia and her brother can share.
4. A Range Rover; 2006 “pimped up” model preferred.
5. Jennifer Garner’s (or Morrison’s) body with Heidi Klum’s breasts…Sarah Silverman’s ascerbic humor, Zhang Zihi’s hair, Rebecca Romijn’s legs, Evangeline Lilly’s arms and clavicle (yes, damnit I said “clavicle”!). I’ll settle for my own face. No one else is going to notice it when I have Heidi’s knockers anyway.
6. One date (or 2) with Viggo or Hugh (or both). A night ending in flagrante delicto an added bonus.
7. A fully functional brain.
8. The gift of foresight so I can predict if the checks I write bouce or not. Also see wish # 7.
9. I dream of having initiative…can you grant me that?
10.All of the above…and then some.

Forgive me, it’s 1:29 am. This is 3rd straight night I’ve been up this late and the necrosis of cells in my central nervous system is completely to blame.

Current Mood: COLD (my hubby refuses to turn off the AC. It’s fall, for Christ’s sake!)

I’ve been absolutely lazy with my entries lately. I am starting to get all Howard Hughes here at home (if you didn’t get that reference…well, boo-hoo for you). I am now armed with a roll of paper towel and bottle of lysol. It all started when I had the entire house cleaned (except for the garage, which was the only thing I’ve kept immaculate myself) European style; complete with…you guessed it, Europeans! Two Latvians and 1 Polish immigrant to be precise. Maia liked the only male in the crew who bore an uncanny resemblance to Cillian Murphy. Take that snooty neighbors! I got Scarecrow cleaning my toilets!!! Boo-yaaah!!! **does the moonwalk**
I’ve decided this will be the week I chop my hair off…I have shed so much hair, you can reconstruct a lifesize model of Chewbacca. I’m aiming for short and pixie like…however, I am fearful I’d end up looking like a pubescent boy with hormone issues (I am proud of my boobies ok!).

I’ve also just recovered from a week of sputum hacking. Lovely, isn’t it? I demanded for the z-pack and to my utter chagrin, only prevented me from attending my favorite Wednesday Yoga class due to inexplicable involutary release of gas. I mean; I was a walking methane tank for fucks sake! I didn’t want to risk having HYI (Hottie Yoga Instructor) sneak up behind me during child pose only for me to assault him with one of my battery acid farts. Oh the shame!!! He did promise to look for my profile here on Friendster but he will have to do some cyber hacking to find HOUSEketeer ::evil laugh::