°o.O Keyboard Tourettes© O.o°

It’s not too early to have one generated, is it?

What can I say, I’m KSP…any bidders?

Internet friends are cool; especially if they think you are.

Here’s a recent email exchange between Pip and I:

> My new teacher is handsome but so frickin’ gay, his
balls
> probably smell of victoria secret (eu de kiwi and
champagne).

Pip: *dies laughing* Oh, that is a priceless Gretchen
quote if ever did I see one.

> On a happier note, I squeeeeeeed my ass off when
> Cambootylicious rode House…I mean rode in House’
bike. I’d
> grin like that too if I felt his backside against my
“poo-nah-
> nee” **runs to change underwear**

Pip: Heh…I do have to give Jennifer points for the cute
smile. As you said, I’d grin like that too if my
hands were wrapped around his waist. And…rolling on
the floor at your use of the word punany.

> Pip, I love your Christmas card (was going to
display it but I > forgot about Neil being Republican
and that his family “looms” > in and out of our
house….eeeeevil people yes they
> are) …believe it or not I have not yet mailed out
mine. I
> suck at being an organized mother.

Pip : *LOL* I didn’t realize that an OCD Santa was so
anti-Republican and against the American Way. *G* I
love being counterculture and an anarchist.

It was really sweet…until Yogi drops Matthieu’s DS on his birthday cake. I wish it were ok to drop kick a 5 year old…

Vatos Locos Forever!!!

Current Mood: Chipper

It’s a darn shame (no it’s not) that a great number of people have totally lost respect for Tom Cruise. As far as I’m concerned, this couch trampling dwarf has sentenced his career to death. How apropros is it that I’m in the mood for some celebrity bashing and whose idiosyncrasy do I happen to cross? Thanks Tom for being the center of my ire today…who knows, I might carry this on till 2006.

His most recent kick-his-career-in-the-nads tactic involved telling the 999 firefighters (who were involved during the 9/11 rescues, and are also sufferrers of breathing difficulties after the fact) to chuck their inhalers and stop all medication (I guess the Scientologist diety, Xenu of crack-in-the-jack planet forbids this)…and get this, drink cooking oil, take saunas and OD on Vitamin B. Don’t believe me? Check it out yourself.

I also bought this week’s People’s Magazine (it’s my bathroom lit) and on the readers comments section, I stumbled upon this insightful entry:

“As OB/GYN residents, we couldn’t help but laugh ot loud at the sheer absurdity of Tom Cruise’ buying a sonogram machine. Tom may think he’s the world’s formost expert on obstetrics and psychiatry, but he should never assume to give Katie medical care since he has absolutely no training. He should probably stick to making movies” - Dr. Kimberly Resnick and Dr. Britton Rink Columbus Ohio

You know what I think Dr. Resnick? I think Tom should stick…his penis inside a beehive.

Just when I think I’ve had enough of despising Mariah Carey, she throws this number.
It’s ok though, I’ve had a rough start to the week. I first find out my favorite yoga instructor aka HYI had fled the Triad Yoga coop and into the welcoming arms of Yoga Works and now Rebecca didn’t win the Apprentice seat… But this…this picture speaks…no, no….screams a thousand and one words…not only is she a lazy skanky ass ho, she also always looks a little greased up…more like she marinated in a tub of “soul glo” (those who automatically got the Coming to America reference get a big sloppy kiss from me). This is the woman who openly admits she can only wear stilletos to a golf game. Why no one has attempted to break her kneecaps yet is beyond me…

Current Mood: Proud shipper!!! Woot! Woot!

OMG OMG OMG OMG!
My shipper heart just exploded with glee from last nights episode. My husband is seriously considering having me picked up by the mental institution. I squealed and I squealed and I squealed and I squealed. And as Strangedazy from LJ aptly put it, “…and the squeeing was heard across the land…” Take that Cambooty haters!!! Kiss my Converse (guess from what movie that’s from?…I’ll give you major kudos if you can figure it out)!!!

Jake Gyllenhaal is the next Angelina Jolie…except he’s got a penis.
Remember way back when Angelina (pre-Maddox days) made us, the general public, almost shit in our pants after she “affectionately” publicly kissed her brother full on the mouth (and most swear “lengua” was involved)? Not to mention during her Oscar acceptance speech she ranted on and on that she’s “totally in love” with her brother. I know…I was there…well, I was watching the friggin’ show when she blurted that out. I was mortified because seriously even though she sported the Elvira look, I think I went temporarily gay for her that day. **looks furtively for lurking hubby**
Aaaaaaaaaanywaaaaaay…
Now how in Peter Jackson’s sphincter muscle did I connect Angie to Jake?!!
I have been having doubts ’bout Maggie and Jake eversince. You see I have a visceral approach to these sort of things. Those two give me the “flowers in the attic” vibe.
You see, Maggie and Jake are attached to the hip so much that when Maggie hooked Jake up with Kirsten Dunst (who is a snaggle toothed troll by the way), he treasured this creature the same way Bobby Brown loved his cocaine. It was like, “yeah, she is pretty…if you say so sis” **Jake pounces on Kirsten like so ** WTF?!!
“FemaleFirst.uk” just confirmed my suspicions…WHOA!

Ok who is this creature and why haven’t I gone out to watch Harry Potter (GOF) yet?

**slips into own drool…dies and goes to heaven**

For all you Harry Potter fiends out there, he plays Viktor Krum. Yeah, I know…Hermoine danced with that?!! What’s to stop her from defiling him, I know I would!

Update (08 Dec 05):
Just found out that this stud muffin’s name is Stanislav Ianevski. Great; that adds to my collection of Eastern European hunks I’d like to abduct and have bound to my bed (apart from Artem of course. Don’t worry Sprite, you can have him…first).

TV Guide’s first inside look into Fox’ TV Medical hit drama: House M.D.
Hugh is just too cute for words…never can get enough of the accent. It’s a panty peeler on its own!!!

If by some bizarre reason, the video doesn’t work, click here.